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The Washington Post’s neologism contest winners.

December 2, 2019May 9, 2025 2441

I came across this today and broke up laughing. These are seriously clever! Thanks to the Washington Post. I wasn’t aware of their neologism contest, but I am now! Read and enjoy. Pass it along.

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Mark Twain

Have something to say, and say it as clearly as you can. That is the only secret.

Matthew Arnold

Editor: A person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

Elbert Hubbard

I write the last line, and then I write the line before that. I find myself writing backwards for a while, until I have a solid sense of how that ending sounds and feels. You have to know what your voice sounds like at the end of the story, because it tells you how to sound when you begin.

John Irving

What I loved most about calling myself a reporter was that it gave me an excuse to show up anyplace.

Jeanette Walls

If you haven’t got an idea, start a story anyway. You can always throw it away, and maybe by the time you get to the fourth page you will have an idea, and you’ll only have to throw away the first three pages.

William C. Gault

Ever heard of a carpenter not going to work because he has “carpenter’s block”? If a writer can’t write, it’s because he doesn’t really want to, he isn’t ready to get it on paper or he’s just plain lazy.

Chet Cunningham

Work on a computer that is disconnected from the Internet.

Zadie Smith

A writer without interest or sympathy for the foibles of his fellow man is not conceivable as a writer.

Joseph Conrad

Read a thousand books and your words will flow like a river.

Lisa See

Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don’t see any.

Orson Scott Card

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Stephen Wright

Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out.

Michael Burke

In Hollywood, the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can’t read. If they could read their stuff, they’d stop writing.

Will Rogers

Do you know what a playwright is? A playwright is someone who lets his guts hang out on the stage.

Edward Albee

Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.

E. L. Doctorow

It always comes down to characters, and individual stories about courage.

Steven Bochco

You may be able to take a break from writing, but you won’t be able to take a break from being a writer.

Stephen Leigh

Writers aren’t people exactly. Or, if they’re any good, they’re a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

The road to ignorance is paved with good editors.